Boundaries and expectations in Nineteen Minutes

Um, where would those be? His neighbor, the retired police officer, lets him sneak (O.K. he didn’t see him do it) a gun right out of his kitchen; the gym teacher allows him to be picked last every time the class plays a team sport, and to be called “homo” right in front of him; his own brother makes disparaging remarks about Peter. Peter’s mother is the only person to give him clear boundaries and expectations, but even those are gone once she finds drugs in his older brother’s room.

I cowered, like Lacy, all the way through this book, especially as a mother.

“Excuse me” Lacy said. “My son … I’m trying to find him. I heard you mention his name – Peter Houghton?”

The girl’s eyes rounded, and she sidled closer to her mother. “He’s the one who’s shooting.”

Everything around Lacy slowed – the pulse of the ambulances, the pace of the running students, the round sounds that fell from the lips of this girl. Maybe she had misheard.

She glanced up at the girl again, and immediately wished she hadn’t. The girl was sobbing. Over her shoulder her mother stared at Lacy with horror, and then carefully pivoted to shield her daughter from view, as if Lacy were a basilisk – as if her very stare could turn you to stone.

There must be some mistake, please let there be a mistake, she thought, even as she looked around at the carnage and felt Peter’s name swell like a sob in her throat.

Woodenly, she approached the closest policeman. “I’m looking for my son,” Lacy said.

“Lady, you’re not the only one. We’re doing our best to – “

Lacy took a dep breath, aware that from this moment on, everything would be different. “His name, she said, “is Peter Houghton.”

She was a mother just like me, and unlike the parents who have lost their children to death, she has lost knowing that her son is a good person. While that might seem small, the other parents can keep their good memories of their children; every memory, thought, and dream Lacy has of Peter is now tainted. It is finally Alex, much further in the book, who remembers him as a small boy.

Since I connected so strongly with this book, I think teens would also connect, but in a different way. They will not take the mother’s perspective, but Josie’s, the one Peter let live. Her struggles with popularity, while exaggerated, will ring true to many students. No one wants to be left out, or bullied, like Peter was; Josie actually makes a conscious decision to never be in that position again, but pays for it. She cannot show her true self, cannot get out of an abusive relationship, cannot feel comfortable with her “friends.” Teens do struggle with those issues also.

I wondered about putting this book in a school library collection. There is a planned school shooting in it; but Peter, although sympathetic, is not a martyr. There are no instructions on how to carry out such a horror. Teens know about real school shootings; this book is more about caring for individuals in our lives. No, not every bullied child will take such drastic steps, but every bullied child is hurting. He needs a teacher to stand up and set boundaries for those around him. He needs to feel safe. I would allow this book into my school collection, but I don’t know if I would go out of my way to include it.